Missing
by Akrim
Summary: He'd left because he had wanted to protect her and even though eight years were such a long time, it was how much it took him to sort everything out. Unfortunately, time doesn't stop for anyone and when he came back, expecting to make things right this time around, he realized he was already way too late. Death simply doesn't discriminate.
1. Dead

**Missing**

 **Dead**

It felt weird being back.

It was a warm and sunny Friday afternoon. The sun was shining right through the windows, bathing everything in a bright golden shimmer.

Taking of his light, grey jacket, Kaito put it around one chair in the kitchen and walked to the sink to pour himself a glass of water. Though, before he could use a glass, he had to wash it first as no had used the house and its contents for some good eight years, as far as he was concerned. Considering the amount of dust covering everything, his estimation just might be correct anyway.

The water tasted just like he remembered it. Clear and cold and just like home.

Kaito had had many homes over the past eight years, but none was _home_. It was as they said – _home is where your heart is_.

Obviously, his heart was right _here_.

Considering it was the place he grew up in, the place he spent his most important, most forming and defining years of his life, it was no big surprise to feel a sense of _belonging_. Even though electricity wasn't working anymore and the water had been brown at first and everything was coating in too much grey dust to be considered healthy, it was still home.

It felt good to be back.

Taking the glass, Kaito went up to his back porch. The grass was neatly trimmed and green as if he'd been there until yesterday. Someone must have taken care of his garden. He wondered if maybe it was nice old Takanabe. That old lady had always helped him out when his mother wasn't at home, she'd been there when his father had died. She made the best omu rice and he'd probably have to go over and thank her for not letting his garden rot away in his absence. He'd buy some chocolate and a big bouquet of roses, she always loved his roses, he'd probably even prepare a small magic show for her just to show his appreciation.

She was such a nice lady for doing all that. Smiling warmly, Kaito sipped at his homely water. It felt refreshing, rejuvenating after the long journey it took him to get here.

His last show had been in Okinawa and somehow, he dreaded going back here, so he had taken his bike, the scenic route and had spent two days on the street driving back home. Maybe he shouldn't have delayed it for so long. Being home felt much better than he anticipated.

Turning around, Kaito out the glass down on the kitchen table and walked up to his room. He felt very nostalgic, walking up the same steps he remembered falling down so many times as a kid and now as an adult he was back, walking the very same steps and somehow nothing changed. Time never stopped but some things never moved. Time would tear this house down if no one lived here and no one took care of it but even after eight years of no use, everything sat still the way he remembered it the last time he was here.

Even his room looked just like – wait, there was something lying on his table. Walking up to it, Kaito tentatively picked up a – file? It was heavy and incredibly full with papers, obviously. A string was knotted around the files, keeping them from falling out and apart. It was a red string, like the red string of fate – weird, what kind of thoughts his brain came up with.

Putting it back down and pulling at the string, Kaito easily opened the dusty file and frowned.

 _'I'm sorry, Kaito.'_

He'd recognize her handwriting anywhere, anytime. Even if he spent another 50 years without her, he'd never be able to forget her handwriting, or anything about her really. The way her eyes sparkled when she was passionately ranting about Kaitou Kid or when he flipped her skirt again, the way the corners of her mouth would raise when he'd show her a magic trick, no matter how easy and boring it was – never for her. The way she'd yell at him while hunting him down with her trusted mop or the way she'd ball her fist in her skirt if she was scared or nervous.

There was no way he'd forget any detail of her very being. Ever.

He quickly thumbed through the files and found nothing but paper clippings, papers ripped out of news papers and magazines, all containing articles about Kaitou Kid or his own shows. It was about jewels, security measures, the places he held his heists at, articles about Kid's possible motives for his stealing, articles about the police, the police shortcomings.

Grinning slightly, Kaito could only laugh at their wild theories. Why would Kaitou Kid steal jewels only to bring them back again? Some theorized him to be a dark hero, only doing it for the proprietors to tighten their security. Other assumed he only did it for himself, it was just a performance, a show. They called him a showoff. Some were correctly assuming he was looking for something but no one could tell what exactly it was. Not that he'd ever tell someone. There were of course a lot of other theories but Kaito didn't particularly care about any of them. Some were simply amusing but after a while all of them got boring and he didn't have time for that kind of thing anyway.

So Aoko had been collecting articles about him. Why? True, their parting has not been the best one and he'd destroyed his SIM card and got a new one. He got a new e-mail address and he was on different social media platforms under different names. He'd never tried to look for her, never tried to find her on any social platforms even though sometimes he'd have to physically stop himself from entering her name in the search engine. Sometimes it was so bad, it hurt physically just thinking about her. Thankfully though, most of the time he didn't have time to think about her and how she might be doing.

Sometimes Kaito regretted leaving her behind like that. When she had found out about him, his mistake, really, he didn't see her standing in the bathroom behind him right when he changed into Kid and even his persuasion tactics couldn't take away the sadness out of her eyes. He knew she'd never believe his lies anymore. He wondered if she'd known all along because she was nothing more than sad. Maybe more than sad, devastated may have described her look better, but she hadn't been screaming and raging – she was nothing like the Aoko he'd known nearly all his life.

She been standing there, her eyes blank and empty, a lifeless shell staring back at him. It hurt him and even now when thinking back at it, he wanted to hit himself so bad for just running out and leaving her there. After the heist he hadn't even picked up his bag anymore because he was so scared of finding her there – and the state she might have been in.

He was an asshole, a scaredy-cat, he knew that. The very night he had come back, he'd packed all his belongings and left for Las Vegas where his mother more than happily awaited him.

Kaito should have stayed, he knew so much. There were so many things he regretted but he'd been but 17 years old and he didn't want to end in prison, not that anyone would ever get him there. Not that he wouldn't be able to get out, but if people knew about him, if Nakamori-Keibu knew about him, _everyone_ would be in danger. He wouldn't just be imprisoned but everyone might get killed and he couldn't have that. That had been his thoughts all along and Kaito stuck to them, no matter how much everything hurt.

Sighing, he closed the file again.

"'Sorry', what the hell are you sorry for, Ahoko? If anything it should be me."

Kaito turned around and left his room again.

He was a magician and not a detective, in fact, he _hated_ mysteries and he knew that Aoko knew it, too. Maybe that was her way of telling him to come find her. Maybe that was her way of telling him it was okay. He never understood why she never told her father because whenever he was chasing Kid, he'd never been different from before. No screaming for Kuroba, always just Kid here Kid there. Just the usual Nakamori-Keibu craze.

He wanted to go meet her anyway. Pandora was successfully destroyed and he had no more reason to keep the night job. There was nothing keeping him from her anymore, no more dangers that were lurking in the shadows. He could be himself again, _just_ himself, even if he wasn't sure _what_ was himself anymore. There was so much of the moonlight magician in _him_ that sometimes he couldn't keep them apart anymore. But he missed her. Kaito missed his childhood best friend and even if he was sure that he'd be happy with another woman, he couldn't be without Aoko in his life. He needed her as his friend, if nothing else.

Grabbing his jacket from the chair in the kitchen, Kaito left the house again with a clear path in his mind. Whatever the file meant, he'd ask Aoko in person. Sure, he'd let her scream and rage and hit him first, he'd even suggest it himself, he'd tell her the truth if she demanded it or he'd just forget it if that was what she wanted. If she was already married, he'd wish her a happy life, he'd ask her if they could be friends again but if not, he'd leave again – at least that he was good in.

She might not even live with her father anymore, especially if she was married to someone but her childhood house was his best bet. Besides, if her father didn't kill him first, he'd be able to tell him where Aoko was, how she was and if she'd be willing to meet him.

It felt nostalgic, walking along the path he'd walked so many times in his past and maybe he would have walked slower and enjoyed the view, reminiscing in old times memories but he was curious what the file in his room meant. It had been dusty so it had been placed there some time ago. He'd say at least a few years, but he couldn't be too sure. The last entry had dated back to five years ago. Maybe she had lost interest in him after three years of no contact between them? Maybe she couldn't watch him being Kid anymore? He didn't know but he would find out very soon.

It _did_ scare him a bit, though he'd not call it fear because Kaito was rarely scared of anything, it was more a feeling of premonition like something bad happened or would happen. The file had looked very detailed and it alarmed him that it suddenly stopped at five years ago. He couldn't remember any remarkable heist before the last one in the file or even the one. All of them were basically boring, nothing much happened.

There was a police car parked in front of Nakamori's house when Kaito arrived and it didn't put him at ease at all. Sure, Nakamori was an inspector, there were various reasons why police would be at his house. It sure had nothing to do with Aoko, yes, Aoko was safe and sound with a husband and three children somewhere on vacation.

He walked up the small way to the front door of the house he still remembered so clear and rang the bell.

It wasn't the one he expected to open the door and Kaito froze for a millisecond before he grinned a devilish grin and leaned at the door frame.

"What the hell are you doing here, Hakuba?"

The Brit looked positively surprised seeing him here, no anger in his eyes or voice or posture. So Aoko must be up and well because Hakuba had been into her eight years ago and if he forgave him for what Aoko must have gone through because of him, then Aoko must be in great hands. It put him at ease, momentarily.

"Kuroba-kun" he exclaimed drying. "What brought you here?"

The brit made no move to get out of the way and invite him in and even though Kaito wouldn't have cared before, he wouldn't just push past him now. He was a responsible adult now, maybe Nakamori-Keibu didn't want to see him anyway. Or Aoko for that matter.

Still, he needed to try. He needed to see her anway.

"Is Aoko in?"

He'd easily be able to get her number one way or the other, he'd not been the phantom thief for so long for nothing. Still, it felt better to take the right path once in a while and asking at her door was the rightest way he could imagine right now.

Hakuba paled considerably and went rigid, his eyes hardened and he clenched his teeth. "Not so loud, Kuroba." He turned around, obviously looking for something and when he did or didn't find whatever he was looking for, he pushed Kaito further out, closing the door behind him.

"Has no one told you? I thought the absence of Nakamori-keibu at your heists might have been a big enough sign for you to realize that something was wrong."

It was true, five years ago keibu started to attend his heists less and less, he looked more hazard every time he _did_ appear though. But Kaito pushed it towards age and exhaustion. Also, he'd been active in a lot of countries outside of Japan and he simply didn't think keibu would follow him there on every of his heists. That's why he never thought much about the keibu's absence.

Eyes narrowing, Kaito frowned. "So, then what _is_ the reason?"

Hakuba leaned heavily on the door behind him and looked him in the eyes. "Five years ago, Nakamori-san died."


	2. The fated meeting

**2 The fateful meeting**

Aoko died, huh?

Kaito had honestly trouble believing Hakuba. Maybe _especially_ because it was Hakuba he couldn't believe it to be true. They just wanted to make sure he wasn't looking for her, right? He had hurt her so much so that they wanted to keep him as far away as possible and what best way was there to accomplish that? Make him believe she was dead and he'd move on, one day for sure.

But Kaito wasn't stupid.

Had keibu told him that, he might have believed it but Hakuba? That bastard? He knew how much Hakuba hated him, especially after how he had left back then. Hakuba had let him know as much back then.

But Kaito _wasn't_ stupid.

Five years ago, and he had thought it was due to his heists being mostly far away from Japan, like Europe and America, there was a time when keibu had missed his heists completely and when he had attended again, he had been very absentminded. It made sense, if he just thought about it. Of course, Nakamori-keibu would be absentminded and distraught if his daughter died. Of course, he wouldn't have the strength to continue losing against him, again and again.

But it was Hakuba who told him Aoko was dead and so he just couldn't believe it. At all. There was absolutely no way. Aoko couldn't be dead. Not his way too smart, bright eyed best friend forever. He never even got to tell her goodbye.

No, there was no way Aoko was dead. She couldn't. He'd _know_ if she was dead. They just wanted to make him suffer the way he hurt her and it was just their really elaborate plan. It was fine – he could live with that, so long as Aoko was alive and well he could live with anything. Even the most horrible lie.

xXx

For Mouri Ran things had always been pretty straight forward.

There had been a few constants in her life like her best male childhood friend Kudou Shinichi or her best female childhood friend Suzuki Sonoko or the fact that her parents were not living together but had yet to get a divorce.

Shinichi was a prodigy detective and Sonoko was the rich girl through and through and Ran herself thought she could get her parents back together if she just tried hard enough. Things had been easy, just like that.

And then, because life was never nice and easy, things changed, and her constants became variables that changed every day. First, Shinichi disappeared. Then Conan appeared and then she found out that Shinichi _was_ Conan and he never truly left. And then she met another friend, Nakamori Aoko, who became another constant in her life but even that constant vanished with the girl one day and until this day no one believed her that her death was _not true_. And first it was Shinichi, then the lies and deception, then it was another loss and the fact that no one believed her, they just watched her with those eyes full of pity and fake understanding for the girl who lost everything a _second_ time and _no she wasn't crazy_ but she might as well be getting there.

"Ran-chan, how do you fell today?"

It wasn't that she lost friend after friend that broke her – it was bad enough and she was never good with loss – but the lies, the pity, the voices that told her _she was wrong_ and _give it up_ , mostly from people she trusted the most ( _Shinichi Shinichi Shinichi_ ) that had her mind rot away in madness.

Life had been calm after that. (No, it hadn't. Until this day she felt like Alice who fell down the rabbit hole, _crazy crazy crazy madmadmad._ )

She felt the corners of her mouth go up into a friendly smile.

They did that a lot lately (for years now but she had stopped counting a long time ago). People liked it and believed she was back to her old self (which she wasn't, never would be anymore). And Ran was smart and after a while became a very good actor – despite her wish from a long time ago to become a lawyer or a pro in karate or maybe even a teacher. In the end, she became a broken doll, a perfect actor in a world that pretended perfection was the only thing that ever mattered.

"I'm fine."

She wasn't but nobody wanted to know really. Nobody cared enough to dig deeper, to find the gaping hole in her spirit and heart equally and maybe it was her own fault for being so perfect in pretending that she, in fact, _was_ _fine_. Besides, it kept her out of trouble and it made her father and mother feel better about themselves. If she just pretended hard enough, they wouldn't worry anymore and her mother would continue working continuously and her father wouldn't drown his sorrow in even more alcohol than usual.

(Long has the perfect family picture shattered into a million pieces.)

"I'm glad to hear that. How is Kudou-kun? I saw he accompanied you here again? My, what a lovely boyfriend, isn't he?"

Being with Shinichi had always been something Ran had been looking forward to. She had loved him for such a long time and he had been this infallible best friend, smart and strong when it mattered, and he cared about her. Once upon a time. The thing with Conan happened afterwards, and when he was back being himself again, he wasn't. He wasn't the Shinichi she knew and the lies and deception hit deep and she couldn't forgive him so easily.

She did, in the end. She loved him that much, after all.

But then Aoko happened and he was the one who told her to _let her go, she's dead_. But Ran _couldn't_ let go. She couldn't and she didn't but _he_ did and that was something she couldn't forgive him.

Being with Shinichi was easy, it was convenient. It was something everyone expected of her and she figured he loved her, or maybe he felt responsible for her current state and only stayed by her side because he felt he needed to. If he loved her or not, Ran couldn't care less anymore. It was good for her, for her act, to be with him and fool everyone into believing she was back to her old self. Back when things were simple and clean.

Being with him was the compromise she negotiated with herself in order to find a semblance of freedom ever again, as being with him was restricting, and had she not known the game he was playing, watching her like a hawk, controlling her, following her, she might have lost her mind all over again. But she wasn't stupid even if most thought her to be and she adapted the game to her advantage. Keep Shinichi happy and unsuspecting and she was fine and free to do whatever she wanted.

"Yes, Shinichi likes to spend all his time with me."

Except when it came to cases. It was a case which broke her mind after all, he couldn't very well keep her around all the blood and gore and murder and negative emotions, right? And he didn't – most of the time anyway. He never let go of cases but he also sometimes postponed them or even let the police handle them. He wouldn't just leave her unattended but he'd bring her somewhere safe, to her father's place, his own or her mother's and only _then_ he'd leave for the case. He'd hurry back unlike _before_ but even now he couldn't just leave a case be. And to be honest, she wasn't even angry anymore.

xXx

Usually, Kaito wasn't violent.

He was good in strategizing, laying traps, outsmarting his opponents and escaping to safety after accomplishing his goals.

Usually, he didn't even like fighting because fighting required practice and experience, both which he lacked greatly. He never learned any martial arts, never any fighting sports and the most fighting experience he ever got, was when Aoko chased him with her mop and he had to train his evading skills. But that was as close to any fighting experience as it got. Furthermore, fighting meant he'd have to use his hands or legs, but most importantly his hands, which was just out of the question – those hands were his career. He couldn't quite risk them.

And damn was he good with his hands, quick and clever and that mixed equaled being undefeatable, however, fighting as it was, was not one of his strengths. Thus, fighting was one thing Kaito didn't do unless unavoidable. Unless he didn't have his trusted card gun with him. Unless all his traps failed and all his preparations went up in smoke. Unless he was at wit's end.

Only then Kaito would fight.

Usually, he had a clear mind and remained level-headed in all situations, was it at one of his heists or one of his shows – he had long perfected keeping his emotions in check. He had become a professional when it came to _being_ a professional, concerning _both_ his careers. Even in situations when he had faced real danger, like men with real guns pointing at him, even when they had hostages, he'd been nothing but calm and focused.

Point was, Kaito had long become calmness in person.

But as things stood, his thinking abilities and Poker Face still went straight out the window, even eight years later, when it came to Aoko.

And so it wasn't very surprising to find him behind bars, with a blue eye and a cross look on his face.

He barely remembered hitting Hakuba, but his knuckles were torn and bloody, proof enough _something_ happened, and he was glad they had him calm down in a cell instead of a hospital bed where they'd drug him and he couldn't do anything to protect himself. (Something he _needed_ to be able to do otherwise he'd lose his mind.)

But his knuckles _were_ torn and bloody and Kaito wondered how it happened. Hakuba was supposed to be this great police inspector, shouldn't he have been able to evade his punches and defeated him right away? Kaito had not been thinking straight, he had no magic tricks up his sleeves, just straight old fists-against-face punches. Why did Hakuba let him hit him? Either way, it didn't matter. Hakuba was a liar and maybe it was his way of alleviating his guilt. He'd have to ask Nakamori-keibu, simple and easy.

xXx

"Alright Ran-chan. Do you have an answer for me today?"

Ran sighed inwardly.

No, she didn't have an answer. She didn't have it a year ago and she still didn't have it now. And the answer as to _why_ was so simple – she couldn't remember. She was supposed to _remember_ though, so that she would never again do something like that again.

Ran pulled her mouth into a smile again. Then she shrugged.

"It's really difficult to say, Yamada-sensei. I still don't remember, I'm sorry."

She saw the disappointment in the woman's face but Ran didn't care.

So she poured boiling water over herself, so what? She couldn't quite remember why anymore, she only knew it was because Shinichi said something about Aoko, probably something along the lines of _forget about her, Ran, she's dead_ and then she must have snapped and it wasn't like Ran wanted to kill herself. Until today she never felt like she wanted to die and with boiling water she could have barely killed herself, anyway, so why were they all making such a fuss about it?

She'd been hospitalized after that, a few long months long but even that time Ran barely remembered. Whenever she thought about it, it was like static, she knew there was a time span but she just couldn't remember it. It was blank. It wasn't filled with anything. It must have been there that she trained her actress abilities, unconsciously, since she obviously couldn't remember a single thing from that time. But she must have been good because they let her go after a few months, let her go back to her family and friends. Back to what broke her in the first place.

But then again, she wasn't suicidal, never had been, so there was also no need to keep her hospitalized any longer.

She had just overreacted, the water had been in her hands, and she had just overreacted.

xXx

"How did your session go?"

His hand was warm around hers and in the beginning she often wondered if he held her hand so that she couldn't run away from him or because he genuinely wanted to hold her hand.

Shinichi's voice sounded sincere enough, sincere enough to enquire about her progress with her therapist. _Like always_ she wanted to answer but that wouldn't satisfy him and he'd only inquire further and Ran didn't feel like being questioned today. So she lied.

"Good."

Another thing she had grown incredibly good at – lying. It wasn't anything she had planned or anything, it just happened. It was the first that came so natural to her, a simple _I'm fine_ when in reality she _didn't know_ what she was – but not fine. Then – things had never been as easy, _lying_ had never been as easy and he was none the wiser.

"Yamada-sensei asked for an answer, just like always. I think I'm getting there."

She wasn't but Shinichi didn't need to know that.

"Where are we going?"

If she pretended to be interested in her surroundings, he wouldn't notice the madness in her eyes or on her lips or on her mind. If she just tried hard enough, he'd never find out. And truth be told – Shinichi didn't really want to know, he never truly looked because if he did? Not even her best acting abilities would be able to hide the despair from her eyes.

"Station. There are some files I need to deliver to Superintendent Megure."

xXx

If they thought handcuffs and a lock could keep him away from answer, then they were wrong. He wasn't Kaitou Kid for nothing, after all.

"Where is Nakamori-keibu?! I need to talk to him, right away! Get me to Nakamori-keibu."

Kaito wondered what happened to his level-headedness. It used to be there. Once upon a time. Even when Aoko was still around – Aoko… his chest restricted painfully in his rib cage. That's right. Just the _thought_ of her being dead was enough to make him lose his mind – and not because he was so in love, well, he was but that was neither here nor there, but because he just couldn't imagine a world without this woman in it. She was taken away from him, so suddenly, so viciously. He'd only been able to continue his live, to continue night after night as Kid because he'd been dreaming of a life _after_. A life with or without her (but not dead, never dead), mostly _with_ her right beside him, or as a friend. He would have been fine if he'd just been the silent protector. He would have been fine with anything – except this.

Aoko being dead? It was unacceptable. He could live with them wanting to keep him away from her, he could live with that just fine but a world without her? Without Aoko?

"Where is Nakamori-keibu?"

It didn't take long after he fled his cell for police officers to start running after him, restricting him again, but he would fight them until someone told him it was nothing but a joke.

"Damn it, where is he? You can't really tell me Aoko is dead. It's a joke, right?! There is no way it's true!"

They pushed his arms behind his back again, he felt the telltale cold metal around his wrists again, cutting sharply into his skin but he just couldn't care about something like that. He barely even felt the pain.

"Oi! I want to talk to Nakamori-keibu! I want to hear it from his own mouth. Tell me the truth! Tell me Ao-"

And then there she was, standing right to the side, half covering her face with her hands, with a look filled with horror and – but no. It wasn't Aoko. Aoko didn't have such scars, she didn't such empty eyes, Aoko was dead (deaddead _dead_ ).

Just like that, with just one breath, all his strength left him and he let all the officers drag him back into his cell without any more struggle.

It wasn't Aoko. It was another girl, another girl who knew the truth, the undeniable truth that Aoko was…

He felt like choking, he felt like dying, like the world lost all its light and there was just darkness everywhere, as if the world was plunged into an eternal night.

Wallowing in despair and hopelessness, Kaito barely registered the steps getting closer and he also didn't care. A world without Aoko in it was worthless. And that girl had known the truth, that was why she had been so shocked. Because he was five years late and opened wounds which must have long closed.

The steps stopped right in front of his cell.

"Kuroba Kaito?"

He didn't even have the strength to lift his head.

"Aoko isn't dead."

* * *

Please review if you liked it? Without any sort of validation it's getting super frustrating to write or even find the motivation to write.


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